I have these not in the shower but in the bath. Partly because when I'm in the shower I pretend I'm in a dramatic music video therefore all my important thoughts come when I'm in the bath.
So today I did the lottery and whenever I do the lottery, which isn't often, I always think about what I do with it if I won. I say all the typical things...you know buy a house (mine is a small cottage in a remote village with a spare room that serves as a mini library and a makeshift gym in the conservatory), travel (several different countries and a round trip for about 6 months), car (a simple smart car would be fine...maybe a convertible but I live in the UK and its only warm here for 2 minutes so I always find the idea of a convertible silly) and Balaaaaa. Then comes the real question of who I will help/share my winnings with.....My true nature shows itself...I'm not a nice person. Not in the sense I wouldn't share it because I would but in the sense of my brain is a bitch who is like 'does this person deserve it' and this is where the true deep thinking comes in to play. In my heart nothing means more to me than helping others. I love the feeling of giving and that feeling when you know you've had an impact on someone's life. It's like your life has some form of meaning. But I'm human, I also have a selfish side. (I'm also pretty sure some evolutionary survival theory pops up somewhere here...INSERT THE RICHARD DAWKINS THEORY OF SURVIVAL) It can also be described as a grudging side. I hold long grudges. I know it's awful so don't give me that look!! Recently I've had problems. Money problems and Emotional problems. I asked people for help (despite how annoyingly proud and stubborn I can be) and...they said they would...but they haven't. They're only around when they need something from me. So would I help them out? My heart says yes but my head says no. BUT then I'm also a believer that the way you treat others has an impact on how they treat others. (Everything I'm writing is actually kind if evidence for this if you think about it) so if I helped them despite them not helping me would that make them want to help others more? Pay it forward. Which would be amazing.
Which brings me onto something else I've always said I would do. However this belief completely contradicts the above believe....I have a lot of contradictory beliefs okay? Shut up.Go away. Even though I'm a big believer in 'everything happens for a reason' (but bizarrely I don't believe in religion....although I do believe there's something much bigger than us...I just don't believe that there's a god out there that would 'hate' his own creation) so in retrospect if I was to go to town and say 'I'm going to sit down on this bench,close my eyes and the first person I see when I open my eyes I'm going to give a £1000 then, according to what I believe, that person is meant to be given it and there's a bigger meaning surrounding an apparent act of randomness. (MAYBE THIS DOES FIT IN WITH THE EVOLUTIONARY BELIEF BECAUSE MAYBE 'WE EVOLVED FOR A REASON' OKAY?) I like the idea of being able to set some dominoes off and the air of mystery of now knowing what the out come will be. So:
1)I give the money to this random some stranger
2) this person uses the money for whatever
3) this 'whatever' reason causes something else
4)this 'something else' causes 'something' else and these 'something's else's just keep happening.
See. A very long domino effect. I just think that's amazing. No. Not amazing. Incredible. But...that's kind of the same with every action we do. Every single little action we perform each day will impact the world. Even something simple like smiling at someone in the street. They see you smile and feel a bit happier which then makes them hold the door open for someone and then that someone performs a nice gesture for someone else and can you see where I'm going with this? People go on and on about changing the world not realising that they do so every single moment of their lives just not in the way they expect but they are. If you're one of these people who want to change the world for the better you can do so simple by being a good person who treats people better. We're a very intelligent species who don't observe the obvious.
'My religion is simple. My religion is kindness' - Dalai Lama
